A Reflection About Death
This post may contain affiliate links, which means I'll receive a commission if you purchase through my link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here: https://noryveemagazine.com/disclaimer/.
Happy November to you all. Nory here, and today, I want to offer a small reflection about death. This reflection came about for two reasons: first, today is Halloween, tomorrow is All Saints Day, and the day after tomorrow is All Souls Day. Second, I recently lost a dear friend of mine.
The fact that one day we all die hit me on the face once again. First, I learned of the passing of an acquaintance I met last Christmas, a sixty-something old man who seemed such a good person, husband, and father of four, including a special needs young man.
The second person who passed recently was another man we knew. We learned of his passing almost simultaneously as the first gentleman. He was in his eighties, he was still working as an Engineer. He thought to himself that if he stopped working, he would pass away, it turned out that he did not have to stop working to die, he fell and died from the complications of the fall. He was one of my husband’s co-workers. He invited us to meet his wife for tea and cookies at his beautiful house, which he designed and half-built himself. He was a delight, with many stories about how he served as a pilot during the Vietnam War. Last year, he invited us to his hangar where he was building his plane, and we watched the Fourth of July fireworks from there while eating delicious charbroiled hamburgers.
The news of the third person came fast after the second, which was the most hard-felt one for me. A woman in his nineties, so upset at God that he was taking so long to take her with him. She was a devout Catholic lady whom I used to call “Mama Postiza” because she was like a second mom on earth to me. Recently, I called her, and she told me, “I am going to die soon, there is nothing we can do anymore. I am not suffering, but I am weak”, to which I replied stupidly skeptical, “Did you see a priest already?” and she said yes, and I did not know what else to say. I mumbled other things, but her birthday was so close, and I thought, “I know she is going to be among us to celebrate her birthday, I am sure I will talk to her again soon.” I told her that I loved her, and she did the same, and we hung up. Two days later, her daughter let me know she had passed away. I wish I had said so much more because I imagine that the process of leaving Earth is not easy, despite how much she wanted to meet Jesus.
I have a solid Christian faith that holds me in every moment. Still, there have been times when I have been more in tune with the idea and meditation about going to Heaven and how much I want it to be my everlasting home when I live this temporary and fast-passing life. That Bible passage about being ready because you never know when the Lord will come has probably changed my life. It got me thinking about how to be prepared every moment and day.
My dear friend and the other two men who died had a good life, one sixty-something, the other eighty-something, and my friend who was about to turn ninety-five. But when I was at my friend’s funeral, I could not help but think about that day when I died. Believe it or not, it is a good exercise. One can think of the things that matter, and it helps not to live for granted.
I hope those people who have died fairly young did not make decisions that forced them to live their lives waiting to be happy and putting joy for later—later when I get to it, later when I get the time, later when I get the money, later when I get to use this or that. Maybe joy comes from being detached as much as possible from the temporary things this world has to offer and from being anchored in the Love that we receive and can give.
I got me a small skull about seven years ago. I got it on Etsy, and it is made of some kind of cement, so it is very heavy. On its forehead, it says “memento mori” which means an object serving as a warning or reminder of death. The practice of praying, working, reading, or writing while having a skull in front of you is ancient, and many saints used to do it. Back in the day, it was a thing; death was a more present subject in mind.
I do not look at that skull as much as I should. maybe I should change that. I hope to remember more about the whole thing of being ready to die, being on good terms with loved ones and with God, by asking for forgiveness often, but telling them how much I love them by seeking peace in my heart.
What I want to say is that even if everything seems to point to the illusion that life is going to last until I am in my sixties, seventies, or even hundreds (like one of my aunts, who is currently 101 years old), the truth is that it could be sooner rather than later.
To finish my reflection, I want to say as a believer in the mercy of Jesus Christ, let’s not rely on Halloween and its sweet, fun, costume-wearing, candy-eating celebration to speak to us about “death” in such a shallow way. Let’s move on to All Saints Day, let us ask those who have left before us and have made it to heaven to intercede for us, and on All Souls Day, let’s pray for all those who have left us. Let’s ask God that they were prepared and ready for that day when things are far from being about candy or costumes but about what we so much hope for: the promise of Eternal Life.
